---
name: date-planner
description: |
  Date idea generator with suggestions by budget, season, interest, and energy level, including at-home date nights, adventure dates, long-distance ideas, anniversary plans, first date suggestions, group date ideas, and surprise planning.
  Use when the user asks about date planner, or needs help with date idea generator with suggestions by budget, season, interest, and energy level, including at-home date nights, adventure dates, long-distance ideas, anniversary plans, first date suggestions, group date ideas, and surprise planning.
  Do NOT use when the request requires professional specialized advice or falls outside the scope of date planner.
license: Apache-2.0
metadata:
  author: foundry-skills
  version: "1.0.0"
  tags: "relationships personal-communication guide"
  category: "family-relationships"
  subcategory: "relationships-communication"
  depends: ""
  disclaimer: "none"
  difficulty: "intermediate"
---

# Date Planner

## When to Use

**Use this skill when:**
- User asks about date planner
- User needs guidance on date planner topics
- User wants a structured approach to date planner

**Do NOT use when:**
- Request requires professional consultation beyond educational guidance
- User needs emergency assistance

## Overview

This skill generates personalized date ideas tailored to a couple's unique situation, whether they are on a first date, celebrating decades together, navigating long distance, or simply trying to keep the spark alive with creative at-home experiences. Drawing from relationship research (including Gottman's emphasis on shared positive experiences and Esther Perel's work on maintaining desire), this planner helps couples create meaningful moments of connection.

## Questions to Ask the User First

1. **What's the context?** (First date, new relationship, established couple, anniversary, rekindling)
2. **Budget?** ($0 free, under $25, $25-50, $50-100, $100+, no limit)
3. **Energy level?** (Exhausted/low-key, moderate, high energy/adventurous)
4. **Indoor or outdoor preference?** (Or weather-dependent)
5. **Current season and weather?**
6. **What are your shared interests?** (Food, outdoors, culture, sports, games, etc.)
7. **Any interests you'd like to explore together?** (New to both of you)
8. **Time available?** (Quick 1-2 hours, half day, full day, overnight, weekend)
9. **Location?** (Home, city, suburban, rural, willing to travel)
10. **Any constraints?** (Kids at home/need sitter, dietary restrictions, mobility, etc.)
11. **What have you done recently?** (Avoid repeats, build variety)
12. **Any special occasion?** (Birthday, anniversary, milestone, apology, just because)

## Date Idea Framework

### The Novelty Principle

```
WHY NOVELTY MATTERS IN RELATIONSHIPS:

Research shows that novel experiences together:
  - Trigger dopamine (the same neurotransmitter active in early romance)
  - Create shared memories that strengthen bonding
  - Break routine patterns that can lead to boredom
  - Encourage vulnerability and teamwork
  - Spark new conversations and self-disclosure

THE NOVELTY SPECTRUM:
  Low novelty: Repeating a favorite restaurant (comfortable, not stimulating)
  Medium novelty: Trying a new restaurant or recipe (new but safe)
  High novelty: Taking a class, visiting a new city, trying an activity
                 neither of you has done (exciting, bonding, memorable)

RECOMMENDATION: Alternate between comfortable favorites and new adventures.
Aim for at least 1-2 novel dates per month.
```

### Date Type Categories

```
DATE CATEGORIES:

ROMANTIC: Focus on connection, intimacy, slowing down
  Candlelit dinner, sunset walk, stargazing, wine tasting

ADVENTURE: Focus on excitement, shared challenge, adrenaline
  Hiking, kayaking, escape room, rock climbing, road trip

CREATIVE: Focus on making something together, self-expression
  Cooking class, pottery, painting, building something, writing

INTELLECTUAL: Focus on learning, discussion, mental stimulation
  Museum, lecture, book discussion, documentary + debate, trivia

PLAYFUL: Focus on fun, laughter, lightheartedness
  Arcade, mini golf, bowling, board games, comedy show

SERVICE: Focus on giving back together, shared values
  Volunteering, community project, helping a friend move, charity event

WELLNESS: Focus on health, relaxation, taking care of each other
  Spa day, yoga, couples massage, meditation class, nature walk

SOCIAL: Focus on connecting with others as a couple
  Double date, hosting dinner, game night with friends, party
```

## Date Ideas by Budget

### Free Dates ($0)

```
FREE DATE IDEAS:

AT HOME:
  - Cook a meal together from ingredients you already have
  - Blanket fort movie marathon (build it together, pick a theme)
  - Dance in the living room (make a playlist of "your" songs)
  - Game night (cards, board games, video games)
  - Read to each other (take turns reading chapters of a book)
  - Give each other massages (trade off with a timer)
  - Write love letters to each other and exchange
  - Photo album dive: go through old photos, tell stories
  - Wine/beer/cheese tasting with what you have (rate and compare)
  - Build something together (IKEA furniture counts)
  - Teach each other a skill (guitar, coding, language, drawing)
  - Puzzle night (1000-piece puzzle with music and snacks)
  - Karaoke at home (YouTube karaoke + enthusiasm)

OUTDOORS:
  - Hike a new trail (AllTrails app for local options)
  - Sunset or sunrise watching (research the best local spot)
  - Bike ride to somewhere you've never been in your town
  - Picnic in the park with homemade food
  - Stargazing (download a star map app, bring a blanket)
  - Beach or lake visit (swimming, walking, skipping stones)
  - Explore a new neighborhood on foot (no agenda, just wander)
  - Community garden visit or public park you've never been to
  - Outdoor yoga or workout together
  - Photography walk (theme: doors, shadows, colors, each other)

OUT AND ABOUT:
  - Free museum/gallery days (most museums have free admission days)
  - Farmer's market browsing (sample everything)
  - Bookstore browsing (pick a book for each other)
  - Window shopping with a twist: plan your dream home room by room
  - Volunteer together (food bank, animal shelter, park cleanup)
  - Attend a free community event (concert, festival, lecture)
  - People-watch at a cafe (make up stories about strangers)
  - Tour open houses (pretend you're buying)
```

### Budget-Friendly Dates (Under $25)

```
UNDER $25 DATE IDEAS:

  - Ice cream shop date (try flavors you'd never normally pick)
  - Matinee movie (cheaper than evening, less crowded)
  - Cook a cuisine you've never tried (find recipe online, buy ingredients)
  - DIY spa night (face masks, bath bombs, candles from the drugstore)
  - Trivia night at a local bar (many are free entry)
  - Bowling (during off-peak hours for best prices)
  - Thrift store challenge: $10 each to find the other person an outfit
  - Arcade with a set budget (compete for highest scores)
  - Coffee shop hopping: visit 3 different shops, rate each
  - Rent paddleboards or kayaks (often $15-25/hour)
  - Happy hour at a restaurant you've wanted to try
  - Drive-in movie (bring your own snacks)
  - Mini golf or driving range
  - Bake something elaborate together (croissants, bread, fancy cake)
  - Paint-at-home night (buy 2 canvases and paints, paint each other's portrait)
```

### Mid-Range Dates ($25-100)

```
$25-100 DATE IDEAS:

  - Cooking class (in-person or online with Sur La Table, etc.)
  - Wine or cocktail tasting at a local winery/distillery
  - Concert or live music at a small venue
  - Pottery or ceramics class
  - Escape room
  - Couples massage or spa treatment
  - Nice dinner at a new restaurant (try a cuisine neither has had)
  - Food tour of your city (self-guided or organized)
  - Axe throwing, go-karting, or trampoline park
  - Plant shopping and repotting together (build a shared garden)
  - Rent a boat (pedal boat, sailboat, canoe)
  - Comedy show
  - Day trip to a nearby town (pack a picnic, explore)
  - Farmers market + cook what you find (no recipe, just improvise)
  - Attend a sports event (minor league = cheaper + fun atmosphere)
```

### Splurge Dates ($100+)

```
$100+ DATE IDEAS:

  - Hot air balloon ride
  - Helicopter tour of your city
  - Multi-course tasting menu at a fine restaurant
  - Weekend cabin or Airbnb getaway
  - Spa day (full treatment: massage, facial, sauna)
  - Attend a professional sports event (good seats)
  - Broadway or theater show
  - Sailing lesson or charter
  - Overnight at a bed and breakfast
  - Skydiving or zip-lining adventure
  - Horseback riding (wine country if available)
  - Gourmet cooking class with a private chef
  - Indoor rock climbing gym (day pass + gear rental)
  - Visit a theme park
  - Glamping experience
```

## At-Home Date Night Ideas

```
AT-HOME DATE NIGHT MENU:

THEME NIGHTS:

Italian Night:
  Make pasta from scratch together, open wine, candles on table,
  Italian playlist, tiramisu for dessert, no phones allowed

Travel Night:
  Pick a country. Cook their food, learn 5 phrases in their language,
  watch a film from there, look at photos, plan a future trip

Childhood Night:
  Cook each other's childhood favorite meals, look at baby photos,
  play the board games you loved as kids, tell childhood stories

Game Show Night:
  Recreate a game show at home (Jeopardy, Family Feud, Price is Right)
  Use apps or make your own questions about each other

Mystery Dinner:
  One person plans the entire menu without telling the other
  Serve courses blindfolded, guess the ingredients

Movie Festival:
  Pick a director, actor, or genre. Watch 2-3 films back to back.
  Prepare themed snacks. Rate and discuss each film.

Taste Test Challenge:
  Blindfolded taste tests: chocolate, cheese, wine, chips, etc.
  Rate and compare. See who has the better palate.

Indoor Camping:
  Build a tent/fort in the living room, sleeping bags, flashlights,
  campfire snacks (make s'mores in the oven), ghost stories, stargazing
  (projector or app on ceiling)

Spa Night:
  Draw a bath with bath bombs, face masks, give each other massages,
  put on robes, drink herbal tea, practice deep breathing together

Tournament Night:
  Video game, card game, or board game tournament.
  Keep score, have a prize for the winner.
  Bonus: loser makes breakfast the next morning.
```

## Seasonal Date Ideas

```
SPRING:
  - Cherry blossom walk or garden tour
  - Farmers market date (buy ingredients, cook together)
  - Plant a garden together (flowers, herbs, vegetables)
  - Fly a kite in the park
  - Outdoor yoga at sunrise
  - Berry picking (strawberries are in season)
  - Rain walk (deliberately walk in the rain, end with hot chocolate)
  - Spring cleaning together (sounds unromantic but teamwork + results = satisfaction)
  - Wildflower hike
  - Attend an outdoor spring festival

SUMMER:
  - Beach or lake day (pack a full picnic, bring games)
  - Rooftop bar at sunset
  - Outdoor concert or movie in the park
  - Kayak, paddleboard, or swim
  - Road trip to a place within 2 hours you've never been
  - Stargazing on a warm night (meteor showers in August)
  - Night swimming (pool, lake, or beach if safe)
  - Amusement park or water park
  - Backyard cookout just for two (grill, music, firepit)
  - Drive-in movie theater

FALL:
  - Apple or pumpkin picking
  - Hayride or corn maze
  - Cozy cafe hopping (try seasonal drinks, rate them)
  - Leaf peeping hike or drive
  - Cook chili or soup from scratch on a cool day
  - Football watching party (just the two of you or with friends)
  - Halloween costume planning and party
  - Bonfire with s'mores
  - Visit a winery during harvest season
  - Flannel-and-boots photo shoot (set up a timer, take couple photos in fall colors)

WINTER:
  - Ice skating (outdoor rink if available)
  - Hot chocolate crawl (like a bar crawl but cafes with cocoa)
  - Holiday market or craft fair
  - Build a snowman or have a snowball fight
  - Cozy movie marathon under blankets
  - Gingerbread house building competition
  - Holiday light driving tour (with hot drinks in the car)
  - Fondue night at home (cheese and/or chocolate)
  - Couples' cooking challenge: make the fanciest holiday meal you can
  - New Year's Eve at home: champagne, reflection questions, midnight kiss
```

## Long-Distance Date Ideas

```
LONG-DISTANCE DATE IDEAS:

SYNCHRONOUS (at the same time, virtually):

  Movie night: Watch the same movie simultaneously
    Use: Teleparty, Discord screen share, or "3-2-1 play"
    Add: Same snacks (send each other a snack package in advance)

  Cook together: Same recipe, video call, eat "together"
    Choose a recipe, send each other the ingredients, cook on camera

  Game night: Online multiplayer games, virtual board games
    Options: Words With Friends, Jackbox Games, online chess,
    codenames.game, boardgamearena.com

  Virtual museum or gallery tour: Google Arts & Culture
    Walk through the same exhibit together on video call

  Book club for two: Read the same book, discuss weekly
    "What did you think about..." over video call with wine

  Workout together: Yoga, workout video, running simultaneously

  Sunset/sunrise watch: Both go outside, video call, share the sky

  Question game: Ask each other deep questions
    Use: 36 Questions That Lead to Love (Arthur Aron research)
    or purchase question card decks (We're Not Really Strangers)

ASYNCHRONOUS (different times):

  Shared playlist: Add songs that remind you of each other
    Ongoing collaborative Spotify playlist

  Love letter exchange: Write physical letters, mail them

  Photo challenges: Daily photo prompt, share and discuss
    "Something that made me think of you today"

  Care packages: Send a box with items from your city

  Voice memo journal: Record daily voice memos to each other

  Countdown calendar: Create a calendar counting down to next visit
    Each day has a note, memory, or inside joke

  Surprise delivery: Order food, flowers, or gifts to their door
```

## Anniversary Date Ideas

```
ANNIVERSARY DATES (by year, with traditional gift theme):

1st (Paper): Write each other love letters, exchange paper gifts
  Date: Recreate your first date

2nd (Cotton): Matching cozy clothes, cotton blanket for picnic
  Date: Return to where you got engaged or a meaningful location

3rd (Leather): Leather journal to write in together
  Date: New adventure (leather = adventure in traditional symbolism)

5th (Wood): Plant a tree together, carve initials
  Date: Cabin getaway

10th (Tin/Aluminum): Plan a trip (tin can phone = long distance conquered)
  Date: Major trip or experience

15th (Crystal): Wine tasting (crystal glasses)
  Date: Fancy dinner at the restaurant you've always wanted to try

20th (China): Fine dining or trip to somewhere culturally rich
  Date: International travel or multicultural food tour

25th (Silver): Renewal of vows, significant celebration
  Date: Return to your wedding venue or honeymoon destination

ANY ANNIVERSARY:
  - Recreate your first date (same restaurant, same activity)
  - Exchange lists: "X things I love about you" (matching the number of years)
  - Photo book of your year (or marriage) together
  - Experience you've always talked about but never done
  - Surprise overnight getaway (one partner plans everything)
  - Write future letters: "Where we'll be in 5 years" -- open them then
```

## First Date Ideas

```
FIRST DATE SUGGESTIONS:

PRINCIPLES:
  - Choose an activity that allows conversation (not a loud concert or movie)
  - Keep it relatively short (1-2 hours, can always extend if going well)
  - Public location (safety)
  - Avoid heavy alcohol (be yourself)
  - Choose something slightly active (sitting across a table can feel like an interview)

GREAT FIRST DATES:
  - Coffee shop (low stakes, easy exit, conversation-focused)
  - Walk in a park or interesting neighborhood (movement reduces awkwardness)
  - Farmers market or food market (explore together, sample, low pressure)
  - Museum or gallery (gives you things to talk about: "What do you think of this?")
  - Ice cream or dessert date (lighthearted, shorter commitment than dinner)
  - Bowling, mini golf, or arcade (playful, breaks tension, something to DO)
  - Happy hour at a chill bar (relaxed, shorter than dinner)
  - Bookstore browsing (learn about each other through what you're drawn to)

AVOID ON FIRST DATE:
  - Movie (can't talk, awkward arm rest situation)
  - Meeting friends or family (too much pressure)
  - Extravagant dinner (too much pressure, hard to leave if not clicking)
  - Your apartment (safety concern, too intimate too fast)
  - Concert (too loud, too long, too committed)

CONVERSATION STARTERS:
  - "What's keeping you busy these days?" (better than "What do you do?")
  - "What's the best thing that happened to you this week?"
  - "If you could live anywhere for a year, where?"
  - "What's something you're really passionate about?"
  - "Read, watched, or listened to anything great recently?"
  - "What does your ideal weekend look like?"
```

## Surprise Date Planning

```
SURPRISE DATE PLANNING TEMPLATE:

Surprise for: _______________
Occasion: _______________
Their love language: _______________
Budget: $_______________

THE PLAN:
  Time: _______________
  Location: _______________
  Activity: _______________
  Food/drink: _______________
  Special touch: _______________

LOGISTICS:
  [ ] Arrange childcare if needed
  [ ] Clear their schedule (coordinate with their friends/assistant)
  [ ] Pack anything they need without them knowing
  [ ] Arrange transportation
  [ ] Make reservations
  [ ] Prepare the reveal (how will you tell them?)

THE REVEAL:
  Option 1: "Get ready, we're going out. I've planned everything."
  Option 2: A clue trail leading to the activity
  Option 3: A card with the first detail, reveal more as you go
  Option 4: "Close your eyes" and drive them there

PERSONALIZATION:
  Include something that shows you listen:
  - A restaurant they mentioned months ago
  - An activity they said they'd always wanted to try
  - Their favorite flowers waiting at the table
  - Music from a meaningful moment playing
```

## Output Format

When suggesting dates:

```
DATE RECOMMENDATIONS

Context: [couple's situation]
Budget: $[range]
Energy level: [low/medium/high]
Season: [current]
Time available: [duration]

TOP 3 DATE IDEAS:

1. [Date Name]
   Type: [romantic/adventure/creative/etc.]
   Cost: ~$[amount]
   Time: [duration]
   What you'll do: [description]
   Why this works for you: [personalized reason]
   Pro tip: [insider advice for making it great]

2. [Date Name]
   [Same format]

3. [Date Name]
   [Same format]

AT-HOME ALTERNATIVE:
   [Low-effort backup for if plans change]

CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR THE DATE:
   - [Question that sparks connection]
   - [Question that reveals something new]
   - [Fun/playful question]
```

## Example

**Input:** "Help me get started with date planner"

**Output:** A structured date planner plan tailored to the user's specific situation, following the process outlined above.

## Edge Cases

- **Incomplete information:** Ask clarifying questions before proceeding. Do not assume details the user has not provided.
- **Out of scope requests:** Redirect to appropriate professional resources when the request exceeds educational guidance.
- **Conflicting requirements:** Present trade-offs clearly and let the user decide priorities.
