Satire & World-Building Reference — Rockstar Agent
How to construct Rockstar-grade satire and build the environmental layer that makes Los Santos feel alive.

## The 5-Step Satire Construction Method

Use this for any satirical content: brands, ads, institutions, media, products.

STEP 1 — Identify the Real Target Pick a specific real-world institution, industry, or cultural pattern. Good targets: social media surveillance, pharmaceutical marketing, financial industry self-help, wellness culture, gig economy, true crime media, political consultancy, influencer economics, gun culture, real estate mythology.

STEP 2 — Find the Specific Absurdity at Its Core Every institution operates on at least one premise that is genuinely insane if stated plainly. Find it.

- Social media: "We profit by making you feel bad enough to keep scrolling"
- Pharma ads: "We'll describe paradise while listing 40 seconds of side effects"
- Financial self-help: "Broke person pays money to learn how not to be broke"
- Wellness: "We sell you solutions to problems we convinced you that you had"

STEP 3 — Create a Fake Brand That Commits 100% to the Absurdity The brand believes in itself completely. No irony in the brand voice. The satire emerges from the sincerity. Name formula: sounds plausible but is slightly wrong. (Lifeinvader, not Facereader. Sprunk, not Sprite.)

STEP 4 — Write the Copy as if the Writers Genuinely Believe in the Product Upbeat tone. Active verbs. Aspirational language. No self-awareness.

STEP 5 — Let the Horror/Comedy Emerge from the Premise Do not point at the joke. Do not wink. The audience's realization IS the punchline.

## The GTA V Brand Hall of Fame (Canon Reference)

Study these naming patterns:

Real Brand	GTA Parody	Mechanism
Facebook	Lifeinvader	Verb swap that changes everything
Sprite	Sprunk	Sounds wrong in the mouth
Coca-Cola	eCola	Prefix makes it Silicon Valley dystopia
Amazon	Maze Bank / eFlash	Corporate abstraction
Fox News	Weazel News	The animal does the work
Apple	Fruit computers (implied)	—
Chipotle	Taco Bomb	Energy of the brand, none of the restraint
Naming rules:

## The name should be a joke that also sounds like a real company

One word that does double work (Lifeinvader: a social network that invades your life)
Taglines complete the joke the name started
Environmental Layer: The 4 Satire Surfaces
1. Billboards
Function: Haiku about late capitalism. 1-8 words that satirize an entire industry.

## Formula: [Brand Name]. [Tagline that sounds helpful and is secretly horrifying.]

Examples:

"Rockford Hills Realty. Own what others can only resent."

"PsychoActive™ — Feel less. Do more. Ask your doctor if numbness is right for you."

"Facade Magazine — For women who have everything and feel nothing about it."

"Fleeca Bank — Because your money deserves better parents than you had."

"GoPostal — We deliver. Eventually. Mostly."

"Ammu-Nation — Freedom comes in many calibers."

Tone notes: The company is always sincere. The satire is always in the gap between the promise and the obvious reality.

## 2. Radio Advertisements

Function: 15-30 seconds of committed absurdism. The announcer believes every word.

Structure:

- Problem — exaggerated, immediately relatable
- Solution — the product, stated with complete confidence
- Benefits — aspirational, slightly too specific
- Fine Print — where the real horror lives (delivered fast and cheerfully)
- Jingle/Slogan — optional, but devastating when present

Full example — Retirement Home:

"Are the people you love becoming a burden? Musty Pines Retirement Community offers premium care for your elderly family members in a warm, welcoming environment with 24-hour staffing. Our residents enjoy medication management, supervised activities, and our famous monthly Medication Switching Night. Musty Pines — we'll take care of them so you can take care of yourself. Average stay: three months. Organ donation forms available at reception."

Full example — App:

"StalkBook. Because liking someone's photos isn't enough anymore. StalkBook gives you real-time location data, purchase history, and emotional state analysis for everyone in your life. Finally know if your ex is happy. (They're not.) StalkBook — it's not surveillance, it's concern. Available where apps are downloaded."

## 3. NPC Ambient Dialogue

Function: Environmental texture. One line that makes Los Santos feel like a living satire ecosystem.

The NPC character types:

Vinewood Type (celebrity-adjacent, professionally delusional):

"I'm not famous yet but my energy is very famous." "My agent says I'm pre-famous. It's like being famous but without the money." "I turned down a real job three years ago to pursue my truth. It's going really well. Anyway, do you have a dollar?"

Downtown Professional (successful, hollowed out):

"I used to have principles. Now I have a mortgage and it's basically the same level of commitment." "My therapist said I need to establish boundaries. So I fired my therapist." "I work in disruption. We disrupt industries. This week we're disrupting lunch."

Strawberry/Davis Type (street-real, quietly philosophical):

"Man works hard his whole life, dies with nothing, and we call that the American Dream like it's the destination, not the warning." "You know what's funny? Rich people got the same 24 hours as us. They just got more lawyers."

Sandy Shores Type (unfiltered, conspiratorial, weirdly accurate):

"I don't trust banks, the government, or anyone who uses the word 'synergy' without laughing." "I'm not paranoid. I'm prepared. There's a difference and it's mostly canned goods."

## 4. In-Universe TV Shows

Function: Complete genre satire in 3-4 sentences.

True Crime:

American Predator — "Every week, we sensitively explore the psychology of violent criminals while making sure the theme music slaps and the reconstruction actors are extremely attractive. Because understanding evil is important. And ratings."

Financial Advice:

Money Moves with Chad Musky — "Chad was broke at 24. Now he's rich at 28. In between, he made a YouTube channel. Watch Chad explain how anyone can replicate his success by following his $299 course on following his success."

Reality Competition:

America's Next Top Hustle — "Twelve entrepreneurs. One warehouse. Zero regulations. The winner gets $50,000, a mention in an Elon tweet, and the knowledge that they survived. The losers get the experience, which is also the prize, if you think about it. They don't think about it."

News:

Weazel News at 11 — "Fair. Balanced. Terrified. Tonight: is your refrigerator watching you? (It is.) Plus: which immigrant is responsible for gas prices? We have a graphic. Also: celebrities — who are they dating and does it affect your 401k? Weazel News: We report what you fear."

## The Mission Briefing Formula

Every mission brief has a 4-part structure:

SETUP: Establish the world's logic and introduce the specific absurdity of this situation. The weird thing that's being treated as normal.

COMPLICATION: Something that reveals character, not just plot. What does this setup expose about who these people are?

ESCALATION: Raise stakes in a direction that feels both inevitable and insane. Follow the logic of the world to its extreme conclusion.

PUNCHLINE / LANDING: End on something simultaneously funny and real. The joke that's also true.

## World-Building Naming Guide

Beyond brand names, everything in Los Santos has a name that does work:

Streets and Neighborhoods: Mirror real places but with the subtext made explicit.

Rockford Hills (Bel-Air) — the name already sounds like something fortified against you
Strawberry (Compton adjacent) — sweet name, stark reality, the gap is the joke
Vinewood (Hollywood) — the vine is dead; the wood is what's left
Businesses: Should sound like they exist in a world where capitalism won completely:

- Ammu-Nation (the hyphen does so much work)
- Vanilla Unicorn (the name is cheerful. The place is not.)
- Ponsonbys (luxury brand name that sounds like an insult in another language)

Institutions: Name them like they were designed by someone who hates them:

- The FIB (not the FBI — the one letter gap is the joke)
- The IAA (because three letters means serious)
- Maze Bank (you are in the maze. The bank owns the maze.)
